


Concerning Dates and Journals

by perspicuity



Series: With Regards to Numbers and Memories [1]
Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Gen, Y'know the book on the save screens? this is about that, nonlinear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-10
Updated: 2015-10-10
Packaged: 2018-04-25 16:44:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4968523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perspicuity/pseuds/perspicuity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Robin kept a journal marking every battle, every name in the army, every birthday, every life lost. She scrawled a date before every sentence. Something about numbers comforted her.<br/>She treasured that book, believing if she ever lost her memory again, this time she wouldn't forget.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Concerning Dates and Journals

               Robin was twenty years old the day she woke up in that field. Or at least, twenty felt familiar. Chrom used to laugh and say that there was no way someone with her patience could be that young. Lissa would punch his shoulder and say that her experience with, ahem, certain princes lead her to the same conclusion.         

               One year, eight months, and twenty seven days after Robin woke up, she watched the Exalt fall to her death.

               She was twenty two when they finally defeated Gangrel.

* * *

               Two years, four months, and seven days. That's how long the war the war with Plegia lasted.

               Robin kept a journal marking every battle, every name in the army, every birthday, every life lost. She scrawled a date before every sentence. Something about numbers comforted her.    

               She treasured that book, believing if she ever lost her memory again, this time, _this_ time, she wouldn't forget. 

* * *

               On Lucina's third birthday, the future Lucina threatened to kill her mother. Robin wept for both her daughters, blade against her throat.

               Lucina's tears were larger than the ones her younger self cried when her parents left her behind. She couldn’t understand war as a baby, and she can't understand it as an adult.

* * *

 

              Three weeks and two days into her tenure as tactician, Robin watched her first soldier fall in battle.

She cried into Lissa's shoulder until an hour before sunrise, and then she ate breakfast with the rest of the Shepherds like always.

* * *

 

               Robin fell in love with Sully four months into their campaign. She was stronger, so much stronger, than she could ever imagine being. She trained with her for two weeks straight and could never hold the lance correctly.

               She trained with Donnel the next week, and fell in love with, too. He was clumsier with the sword than she, but he was always so much lighter on his feet.

               The next training session, she studied Miriel. The next, Sumia. The next, Stahl. Even Frederick.

               Robin loved them all more than she knew possible.              
        
               When she told Maribelle, she scoffed and rolled her eyes, but her upturned lips betrayed her. 

               "Welcome to the Shepherds, dear."

* * *

               One week and seven days before Emmeryn was kidnapped, Chrom knelt in front of her, a bracelet made from flower stems in his palm. He said it was the best he could do, but he would make it up to her when they made it to the next town.

               The flames from the campfire cast dancing figures around them, their shadows twenty feet tall.

               Robin said no.

* * *

               For two years there was peace. Ylisse never stopped grieving Emmeryn. The pain in Chrom's eyes and Lissa's nightmares made sure of that.

               Robin felt she attended a wedding every week. Gaius and Panne's wedding had the best cake by far. Sully's party the night before was, based on those 7 volumes of Ylissean legalities stacked in her room, illegal and broke at least 3 laws.

               Sumia and Cordelia wed beneath an apple tree, just as the sun began to set. Robin never understood why, but that was her favorite, topped only by her own and Lissa's impromptu mess  
years later.

* * *

               Morgan found the Shepherds five days before the battle against Valm's navy. Anxiety swallowed Robin's heart when he didn't recognize his father or sister.

               Frederick shook his head and said that it must run in the family. Chrom left the campfire without a word. Morgan didn't care and, after spending four solid hours talking to Robin, fell asleep by his father's side.

               The look Lucina had given Morgan earlier that day frightened her mother more than the coming battle. She hadn't recognized him either.

* * *

               Robin remembered Cordelia joining the Shepherds on a Thursday. Sumia broke into sobs, partly from pain at the news of the Pegasus Knights and partly for joy at reuniting with her childhood crush.

               Cordelia refused to speak to anyone for two days.

               They made it back to Ylisstol on Saturday. Chrom met an unmasked Marth at precisely 6 PM.

               Gaius was bribed into the Shepherds at 8:30. Robin recognized the man outside the castle at 9:07. Sully struck the final blow at 9:16. Emmeryn was declared unharmed by Panne at 9:19.

               Lon’qu tripped over a training dummy the next day and accidentally cut Donnel with his blade, making them eleven minutes late to the lunch party celebrating Emmeryn’s safety.

               That weekend, Robin had the first of many migraines that would plague her life for the next five years.

* * *

               Nah was found two months and eight days into what Robin had originally called the New War. She begrudgingly spoke to her parents after some coaxing from Chrom.

               Ricken nearly fainted when she called him ‘father’. He and Nowi were nowhere near any sort of relationship beyond close friends, and he wouldn’t even begin to think about proposing until they were deep in the heart of Valm.

               The same happened when they found Brady five months later. Miriel wasn’t even on acquaintance terms with Laurent’s father by the time he was found. Severa and Cynthia were found two days apart, both claiming to be on no-speaking terms with one another until Sumia gave them both an unusually stern talk.

               Yarne refused to speak to anyone but Lucina when he was found. Gerome flat out refused to speak to anyone. Inigo refused to let Owain out of his sight. Noire talked with Robin every night for two consecutive weeks once she was found. Kjelle ignored Severa with unheard of skill.

               And none of the children recognized Morgan.

* * *

               Three weeks after Emmeryn’s death, Robin accepted Chrom’s proposal. Lissa and Chrom cried uncontrollably, Lissa for her new sister and Chrom for something bright after weeks of darkness.

               The Shepherds celebrated around the campfire until sunrise. It was the happiest anyone had been in twenty-three days.

               Lucina was born one year, eight months and seventeen days later. The Shepherds were called to Regna Ferox three months after.

* * *

                For the first four months of Robin’s tenure as tactician, Frederick refused to take his eye off of her. She did her best to annoy him, always making sure to be in his way.

                During the fifth month, he accidentally said ‘good morning’ to her. Robin ate nearly every meal with him for the next three weeks, until he grew used to the smell of bear meat, though never the taste.

                He genuinely smiled at her on the eighteenth day, but he never stopped watching her.

                The day Emmeryn died, something changed in his eyes. He watched Robin with the care he did with Chrom and Lissa, but the sadness never left him.

* * *

                One year into the campaign in Valm, Robin found Lissa teaching Henry healing spells in the forest just outside of camp. She cast her own and scared them, causing Henry to react by burning half the forest down and alerting a rogue band of brigands of their location.

                All mages were put on probation for the next week when Robin promised Henry and Lissa that she wouldn’t snitch after they argued that it was pretty much her fault anyway.

                She almost thought they were making fun of her when their wedding ceremony ended with a dramatic fire show.

* * *

                Three years into the campaign against Walhart, the conqueror finally fell in battle, at Robin’s hand. Something changed in her that day, something she didn’t want to think about.

                Morgan noticed it first, then Lucina. Her children knew her best, she thought. The migraines grew worse and worse, until she was forced into taking turns riding on Frederick and Sully’s horses. The day they reached Ylisstol, she blacked out and was out for two days.

                When the light from the windows became too much, she opened her eyes and frantically began searching for her journal.

                She leafed through the pages, reciting every entry word for word. She remembered.

* * *

                An hour after Lucina’s begging with Basilio, Robin ran into him in the infirmary. She pulled him aside, asking him to listen to her daughter. He laughed but refused. Without thinking, she reached into her bag and handed him a pouch, telling him to never let it out of his sight, and to find her once this war was over.

                He promised. Robin later told Flavia to make sure he never forgot that promise.

                Robin smiled despite herself when she saw both Khans waltz into the Plegian throne room, pouch hanging from Basilio’s belt.

* * *

                Twenty minutes before Flavia and Basilio entered, Robin killed Chrom.

                Or, at least, that’s what Validar had commanded. That’s what Grima had commanded. That’s what every fiber of her body commanded. But something was different. Something prevented her from killing him, and she never figured out just what that difference was.

                She didn’t care.

                It was only after that battle, as the Shepherds headed for camp, that she remembered that six years ago that day Emmeryn had fallen to her death.

* * *

 

                Two weeks before the battle with Grima, Chrom was blessed by Naga. He was so determined to save the world, but Robin could never let him do that.

                Lucina was the only one to know what she was going to do at that point. She had wept into her mother’s shoulder but silently agreed. It was the only way to save them.

                Morgan and Chrom were oblivious and talked about what they all would do after this was all over. They planned festivals and parties and picnics that would never happen.

                Lissa noticed the heavy look in her eye a week before the battle. She hugged Robin and nodded, her eyes wet, but she said nothing. Robin was thankful for that.

* * *

 

               Two days before the battle, Robin played cards against the Shepherds and lost in the second-to-last round to Virion. Cordelia won it all, crushing Lon’qu’s undefeated streak. Cynthia lost 200G in a bet against Kjelle and threatened to fight her to get it back.

               The ensuing fight sent the entirety of the Shepherds into a laughing fit that lasted until one in the morning.

* * *

 

                One day before the battle, Chrom begged Robin to not sacrifice herself. She hadn’t seen him that emotional since Emmeryn’s own sacrifice.

                Her heart broke in two.

                She remained steadfast, but held him until sleep finally overtook them. The morning of the battle, Lucina and Morgan didn’t leave her side.

* * *

 

                The battle.

                Robin gave her journal to Chrom, who wrote the battle in detail beside the date: six years, two months, and six days after waking up in that field.

                The Shepherds fought with their lives. Death meant nothing if it meant winning. Robin knew that too well.

                Morgan and Lucina fought alongside one another, fighting near Inigo and Cynthia in case they needed assistance. Lissa and Henry cut a clear line through the battlefield, leading the way for the rest of the Shepherds. Maribelle and Lon’qu, Cordelia and Sumia, Panne and Gaius all followed immediately behind, with Frederick bring up the rear.

                Chrom and Robin skirted around the battles, heading directly for Grima.

                Despite all their desperate attempts, Grima couldn’t command Robin, not this time, not ever again. She could resist, and this time, she knew why.

                Family. Friends. Her memories.

                She couldn’t let them go. She wouldn’t let them go.

                And that’s why she stepped in front of Chrom, raised her hand, and threw every bit of her magic at Grima.

                She looked back at the battlefield, smiling, thanking the Shepherds. Then she looked to Morgan and Lucina, sending all of her love to them. Then to Chrom. She had so much to say, and not a single word would do her thoughts justice. So she reached out and held his hand as she faded away. Chrom choked back tears and shouted every word he knew at her, and she replied with only two.

                Thank you.

                And then she was gone.

* * *

 

                Seven years, five months, and twenty-eight days after waking in that field, Robin feels someone grabbing her hand.

                She opens her eyes and sees Chrom, Lissa, and Frederick standing over her, all of them grinning ear to ear. She can’t help but laugh. Lucina and Morgan come running from behind, shouting things Robin can’t understand.

                She doesn’t care to understand. She’s too overjoyed to care about anything but hugging all of them and promising to never leave them again.

* * *

 

                One day, two hours, and six minutes after waking up in that field, Robin closes the journal.

**Author's Note:**

> okay, so, y'know that book shown on the save screen and in the ending cutscene? This is basically a description of entries in that. I don't know if anyone's ever written something like this before, so I can only hope that you thought that it was okay
> 
> I just started writing this without any sort of plan, so here's to it making some miniscule amount of sense! as always, thanks for reading!


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